Fr Andy Writes

Father Andy Writes:

PILGRIMAGE OF HOPE – 2025

Pope Francis has made 2025 a year of hope, and I would like to rename it as “My pilgrimage of Hope”.

Since my “accident” in Portugal on 5th February my pilgrimage has taken on a new course, a new direction that I could never have conceived. Struck down with pain due to a fractured pelvis my journey has turned into an unimaginable discovery of who I am and what my life is really all about, and where it is leading to! Confined to bed rest for a couple of weeks my life seemed to have come to a halt. Yet there has been so much goodness and kindness surrounding me, an amazing fruitful progress that has emerged from this so called pain and suffering that I have encountered.

And I am not just talking about myself or even the human race, I have realised this sufferable journey is shared with all creatures and seems to be built into the fabric of the universe itself. Charles Darwin reminds us that small mutations in egg, sperm and embryo may result in creatures who are better adapted to a change in the environment. These new descendants outpace the elders eventually emerging as a new species. So it seems that suffering and even death is deeply structured into the creative advance of life which arises in the midst of suffering. Charles Darwin called it the “a striving towards the most beautiful”. He tells us that the lion’s teeth have caused the limbs of the deer to grow stronger and vice versa. Through their interaction over generations, as the lion’s teeth grow stronger the deer runs faster. Taking the long view we can see that without struggling and death there would be no emergence of new creatures. There would be no wings, no eyes, no brains, no soaring creatures in the sky, no fined tuned eyesight registering colour and shape, no advance crafty minds. Without pain no further exploration of life’s potential form, without death no new life. For our beautiful world is continually renewed through these amazing struggles.

I ask myself, where is God in the midst of all this suffering and misery. I am reminded of the lovely story of Moses encountering the burning bush in the book of Exodus. God tells Moses “I have seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cry; I know what they are suffering. Therefore I have come to deliver them. Now go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people out of Egypt.”

I know that God is with me in all this, especially in my pain and suffering. The “Moses” that came to set me free was firstly in the form of Joe and Liz, who were my hosts whilst in Portugal. Joe and Liz looked after me for nearly two weeks when I had to bed rest. They brought me meals and drinks, helped me to wash and shower and took care of all my daily meals right up to the time when I had to be admitted to hospital, when Joe and Liz had to travel back to the UK. Liz and Joe got back to their English home in Skelton and after only a few days home, Liz had a massive stroke. She had just finished a call with a client (Liz is a therapist) and told Joe that she was feeling a little dizzy. The next thing Joe noticed was that her head dropped to one side and Joe realised that it was a stroke (Liz had a minor stroke a few years previous) and called for an ambulance. As Joe returned to Liz, she said to him, “Joe, I think this is it. So look after yourself and know that I love you very much”. Those were the last words that Liz spoke. After being on a ventilator for a few days she died the following Friday 28th February at 2.00pm. Liz’s funeral will take place at Our Lady of Lourdes Church, Saltburn-by-the-Sea at 11.15am. Please remember Liz and Joe in your prayers. Joe told me that when she spoke those final words to him that she would be all right and that she has now entered the Promised Land, where there is no more pain, no more suffering, only peace and Joy in God’s loving kingdom.

However, the pain and suffering that I experienced is deeply embedded within me. If you like, my “Pharaoh” and my “Egypt”, the things that were creating my pain and suffering, were in fact within me! Perhaps it is because the taskmaster (the Pharaoh) is my agenda, my determination, my striving, my way of dealing with things. I had created my own “Egypt”, a self created prison as if I was totally self sufficient, believing I didn’t need anyone to live my life. Yet in truth, God is with me, but I did not recognise him. The “Moses” that came to rescue me, were right here in the parish, who have done so much to help me and set me free from myself. Parishioners with their amazing support, their love, their prayers, they’re running around for me. Dealing with Insurance people, with doctors appointments, bring me food (and drink), sorting out the washing and providing me with clean clothes. I have become a new creation thanks to so many people, my own family included.

I have certainly listened to God much more in this past month; lonely nights in the hospital, alone with my own thoughts, Monica like an angel coming to rescue me from the loneliness and heaviness of the hospital. She kindly arranged for an air ambulance for me to travel back to the UK. And Monica without any self interest was by my side, caring for my every need. A true Guardian Angel indeed! So thank you Monica for everything, your loving presence made all the difference. And I also want to thank all those who have visited me, sat with me, prayed for and with me, telephoned me, which makes me feel truly blessed. These are the “Moses” that help set me free from the plight I find myself in due to the frustration of being enclosed in my own selfish world.

The forty years of the Israelites traipsing through the wilderness in order to reach the Promised Land of freedom (from pain and suffering) does not exactly represent my five weeks of being in exile, but I have learned that God is at work in my healing and if I put myself in God’s hands then it is in God’s time not mine that the healing will take place. ”Thy will be done” Jesus said in his agony in the garden and that his “cup” (his suffering) could be taken away from him. If Jesus was not given this gift of healing why should it be any different for me? Like Jesus, I now put myself in God’s hands and believe that Resurrection will come and new life will begin. In fact this new life has already begun.

So, I want to thank each and everyone one of you for your continued prayer and loving support. I hope to see you all very soon. With lots of love, Andy